Fear is a four letter word. And it gets us all. It's what makes us hold back from doing all that were capable of doing. I strongly dislike fear. It's a battle I fight in my mind ALL THE TIME. It drives me crazy. I'm trying to turn into Warrior Krysten. Where fear does not get me. And I punch it in the face every time it tries to get to me. Because at the end of the day. It's dumb. Why are we scared? We have absolutely nothing to lose. Whats the point of life, if you don't take risks? Just to sit there and let everything pass you by? There is no fun in that.
So this year & somewhat last year. I've sort of been doing my best to give fear the finger. I've been trying new things, even when I'm scared. And thats been really awesome. It's insane how much you change from doing that. I now know what confidence is, haha. Even though it's still minimal. I am learning how to control it. And build it, obviously.
This year though, I am looking inward. Figuring out that there is some major changes that need to take place. I would normal consider myself an anxious person. I think all kinds of crazy thoughts, that aren't even true. And then dwell on the past, negative situations, etc. It's not healthy- believe me I know. I have a very stressful & emotional career & regular job. It takes a lot out of me, cause I put a lot of heart into my acting. And a lot of care into my regular job- and tend to take things personally. Which, again, working on it. Lol. But something that has been holding me back- for I think, a long time. Maybe longer than I ever knew. Was my weight. By no means am I overweight. But I do think that all of us, have a weight where we feel best. Feel energetic, confident & truly feel awesome. I haven't been feeling that for a minute :/ I decided 4 days ago to start a detox from all the food I have been sort of over eating (Helloooo cashew cheese). And indulging every night. With a glass of wine & snacks. This can't be the life you live daily. But I would say my boyfriend & I have a lot of fun. And unfortunately we started making food & alcohol the main culprits of having a good time. Well, at least for me- I can't speak for him. But I know we both feel the same and thats why were on this journey to change together. I broke my detox last night with of course a glass of wine. When I woke up this morning, well, late. I realized this isn't worth it. The other days I had woken up wayyyy earlier. I felt more energetic and I was more productive. That right there was a huge realization for me. I also realize I really want this now. To change. It's not just fun & games like in the past. I'd give up- and then go back to bad habits. I really want to look and feel better. And be the best I can be. Cause it is possible. If you really want something bad enough, you'll do what it takes to have it. Thats my mind set for everything else, why hasn't it been for my body? I was stuck in comfort zone. And no eating super healthy for 30 days is not my comfort zone.
You may wonder, why so strict for 30 days? It's my personal decision. I want to learn that I can have those other healthy foods that I'm taking out for 30 days, in smaller portions, once I do add them back in later. I always over do everything. And I'm changing that now. Just like the way I'm being laid back with the fact I broke my detox yesterday. Doesn't matter- I'm starting over today. It's back to Day 4. I can do this- I know I can. And if I really want it- I'll do what it takes.
Just in case your interested. My detox is basically from sugar, alcohol, processed food, gluten, soy, and grains. So in a nutshell, I'll be having lean protein such as, fish, egg whites, and also nuts, any vegetables & fruit. So theres that. Game Face. Doing this.