Fear is a four letter word. And it gets us all. It's what makes us hold back from doing all that were capable of doing. I strongly dislike fear. It's a battle I fight in my mind ALL THE TIME. It drives me crazy. I'm trying to turn into Warrior Krysten. Where fear does not get me. And I punch it in the face every time it tries to get to me. Because at the end of the day. It's dumb. Why are we scared? We have absolutely nothing to lose. Whats the point of life, if you don't take risks? Just to sit there and let everything pass you by? There is no fun in that. 

So this year & somewhat last year. I've sort of been doing my best to give fear the finger. I've been trying new things, even when I'm scared. And thats been really awesome. It's insane how much you change from doing that. I now know what confidence is, haha. Even though it's still minimal. I am learning how to control it. And build it, obviously.

This year though, I am looking inward. Figuring out that there is some major changes that need to take place. I would normal consider myself an anxious person. I think all kinds of crazy thoughts, that aren't even true. And then dwell on the past, negative situations, etc. It's not healthy- believe me I know. I have a very stressful & emotional career & regular job. It takes a lot out of me, cause I put a lot of heart into my acting. And a lot of care into my regular job- and tend to take things personally. Which, again, working on it. Lol. But something that has been holding me back- for I think, a long time. Maybe longer than I ever knew. Was my weight. By no means am I overweight. But I do think that all of us, have a weight where we feel best. Feel energetic, confident & truly feel awesome. I haven't been feeling that for a minute :/  I decided 4 days ago to start a detox from all the food I have been sort of over eating (Helloooo cashew cheese). And indulging every night. With a glass of wine & snacks. This can't be the life you live daily. But I would say my boyfriend & I have a lot of fun. And unfortunately we started making food & alcohol the main culprits of having a good time. Well, at least for me- I can't speak for him. But I know we both feel the same and thats why were on this journey to change together. I broke my detox last night with of course a glass of wine. When I woke up this morning, well, late. I realized this isn't worth it. The other days I had woken up wayyyy earlier. I felt more energetic and I was more productive. That right there was a huge realization for me. I also realize I really want this now. To change. It's not just fun & games like in the past. I'd give up- and then go back to bad habits. I really want to look and feel better. And be the best I can be. Cause it is possible. If you really want something bad enough, you'll do what it takes to have it. Thats my mind set for everything else, why hasn't it been for my body? I was stuck in comfort zone. And no eating super healthy for 30 days is not my comfort zone. 

You may wonder, why so strict for 30 days? It's my personal decision. I want to learn that I can have those other healthy foods that I'm taking out for 30 days, in smaller portions, once I do add them back in later. I always over do everything. And I'm changing that now. Just like the way I'm being laid back with the fact I broke my detox yesterday. Doesn't matter- I'm starting over today. It's back to Day 4. I can do this- I know I can. And if I really want it- I'll do what it takes. 

Just in case your interested. My detox is basically from sugar, alcohol, processed food, gluten, soy, and grains. So in a nutshell, I'll be having lean protein such as, fish, egg whites, and also nuts, any vegetables & fruit. So theres that. Game Face. Doing this. 

So some may say... chosing this day, a holiday ... to start a cleanse is not a good idea. But for me, when I get the urge to do something. It has to be in that moment, and in that moment only ! :o So the idea came upon me in a wake up call yesterday, as I already told you in the first post. So today it's no games. I'm all in. I even decided yesterday to 'basically' begin then. I did finish a glass of wine I had left though. So that being the only thing that wasn't true to what this cleanse will be from here on out. So this is the official day 1. And I'm excited. I'm excited to get my glow back. Cause I have truly just been fading so far away from that. It's not just about the food part of this cleanse. For me letting go of those 'comfort foods' is letting go of certian emotions that come with it. When I say comfort food I don't mean fast food or junk. I truly don't eat 'bad' ever. However I do eat sometimes, too much of a good thing. And drink to much wine, etc. Just been over indulging big time. And thankfully, I had a realization, life can't be lived like this daily. I'm missing out on something. No, I don't know yet, what that is for me. But I've lost a certain fullfilment in my past days. As well as an urgency and excitement to get up. It's always.... mehhh. I'm going to the gym. It's not exciting. It doesn't make me happy going there. I literally hate working out. I do feel so much better afterwards- but getting through workouts is HARD FOR ME. Like super hard. But that's because I hadn't been seeing the big picture. And I take that negative energy with me there and leave with it. And it's all gotta change.

-I need to see the gym as a place I am happy to go. First off cause I can pay for it, and it's a luxury. To have a sauna, a nice clean place to work out, with AC on hot days. That in itself should be enough to put a little oomf in my step. 
-2nd of all. I've been doing the same ole thing there. I used to like to switch up my workouts. 15 m here, 15 min there, etc. Lately, I had just been staying on 1 machine. Bleh. Boring. Plus we have all these classes there I'd love to take. I'm not present on machines. I actually feel, when I leave the gym, that I'm just waking up. I watch tv to distract me and listen to music! Yowza. Today I rehearsed lines for an audition I have tomorrow. Now that was good! Cause I really feel like I know my lines now, and the workout went by very quickly!

It's only perfect to title this post "Shake it Out". Pretty funny actually. Cause as I sat here about to write an entire post on the Cleanse I'll be starting tomorrow. This song came on my spotify next. How fitting. Because it's basically a song about letting go, and starting new. And thats exactly what I am going to do! Sometimes we just need to shake it out. Restart. Reboot. Etc, 

So yesterday- me and my boo- went on a hike to Malibu. Very fun indeed.
But man oh man, so challenging. SO much so. At one point in the incredibly tall mountain we were hiking, I had to use a rope and pull myself up. At first I was being a chicken, and saying hell no. And backed up and was close to walking back down. But I took a breath. We were already so close to where the 2nd waterfall was. (or so I thought). Anyway- With the help of my boyfriend, and I mean lots of help- physically and mentally, haha. I got up there. But GEEZ. this hike should be labeled extremely difficult. Cause when we were first entering, I didn't know what to expect- but it wasn't this! And I was bummed that the waterfall and water, wasn't flowing. But oh well- I'd say next time, but I'm not sure there will be. :/ But as a one time hike- this all in all, was very pretty. It was such a clear day yesterday- not very hot. Malibu is so pretty. The water was so crystal blue. I've been pushing myself everyday to at least walk for an hour, or minimum of 2 miles. Even on days I work. So far so good :) Gotta make it a habit! 

Well here it is. A challenge! It's been a lonnnnng time since my last challenge. But this one is brand spanking new. What does it involve? Well it's very simple. Walking EVERY day for 30 days. 

In the words of Barney from "How I Met Your Mother" (If any of you watch it that is. ;) 
"Challenge Accepted!"


Whose with me?  From now on there will be a mostly weekly challenge posted. In order to create a healthy habit for you for 7 days. And learn from it. All in which will help to improve yourself, for the ULTIMATE better YOU!. The first CHALLENGE IS.....drum roll......

Water. 1 Gallon of Water a day. Yep, you heard me right, 1 gallon! 
Start Date: Feb 22nd - End Date: Feb 28th

Lets finish February, refreshed! Tomorrow Marks the last 7 days of February. So lets finish it up right! There is only now. :)