Look here- if you know me , or don't. I have n e v e r been 'athletic' in any form, :( sadly. And I love sports. To watch them , enjoy them with a beer, haha. Oh my. The laziness persists. Okay. I'd really like to change this. And maybe there is something other than fitness you'd like to change? Well- I'm over the whole '21' days to start a habit/routine. Really really not true for me. I need a lot more engraving in my head than just 21 days. I will snap back to my old ways within a second, and I never really learn the lesson behind it either. So I decided 81. Why 81? Well because from yesterday (March 10th- until 81 days from that date- which will be June 1st.) And that my friends, is summer time. Although, it's basically summer where I live anyway. Who cares- the point is 'summer, summer' will be then. And I will be going on a day trip to Catalina Island, hopefully. And several other summer-y day trips. Regardless, thats not even the point. There I go again getting sidetracked, from the actual point of it all. I AM out of shape. I could pass out by the time I climb up the stairs to my apt. everyday. Only 3 flights. And I'm red in the face by flight 2. Not okay. I'd like to have the energy that other fellow workouter's have. I'm sick of being 'out of shape' and using it as an excuse for everything. Lame lame lame. I'm done. I want to become all of those things I say I'm not. You get me?
And at the end of this 81 day journey be like, damn girl. Thats awesome! And by then it'll have started a habit. A habit of me hopefully enjoying working out daily. Yes!
I've decided to look at it this way. So at the beginning of each year- I set my self some goals I'd like to accomplish before the year is over. And then by the end I'm like thats cool, I completed most of them, etc. Like last year, pretty cool- but I truly was a little disappointed in not having done it all.
Yes, some of them were sort of out of my control. I say sort of because, sure, I can't always book roles or whatever, even if I did an amazing job. But - Did I do an amazing job in each audition and feel great about it either way? No. If I were to have been like, I did my best and thats all I could do- then I wouldn't have felt that way at the end of the year when I see the amount of jobs I wrote I wanted to have booked, and didn't. it really has nothing to do with not booking them. It has to do with my confidence and realizing I let myself get in the way of a lot of times at auditions. And I'm done with that bull shit. I really am. it sucks . It sucks that for the past 27 years I've cared so much about what others think of me. And I'm giving that up this year. I'm making sure every day I care a little less about what others think of me. Whether they don't laugh at my corny jokes or sayings, or think I'm silly, or where clothes that don't match, think my hair is weird cause sometimes it looks like I got elecrticuted. I just don't freaking care anymore man. It's so dumb to care. I live in LA. I've already made it this far. My life up until now is absolutely crazy to me. I wanted my life I have right now, 5 years ago. Had no idea I'd actually have it. So I'm freaking proud of that. This journey is a long one- to get to my goal. It's not going to be reached by 'jan 1st 2015' and I don't care! I will do this as long as it takes.
I'm probably going to rip down the list I have on my bathroom wall in a minute. It's like I'm setting myself up for failure everyday I look at it. Cause that was the intention behind it when I wrote it for myself. It wasn't from a place of love. It was more a scared person writing it as if it's my last final hope. oh my gosh I have to make it by this year, I'm getting old, etc. I don't care if the first starring role I have is when I'm 35. Who cares. I love to act. And if this is my life- in order to get there- then so be it. I can do a lot in the mean time for myself. It's all a journey of getting stronger. And thats the real deal here. Which brings me back to #81DaysOfFit , if you have instagram and want to join me in this challenge. Then #81DaysOfFit, so I can see what your up to! Chose any exercise each days. Yoga, walking, running, swimming, gym, etc. You get it. Do something. get movvvvvvvving ! (and # hasht ag it :)
alright ya'll! Do your thang!