I have not had a chance to stop and even think the past 2 days. It's crazy for me sometimes, and I know it is for you. But the importance of taking care of yourself and resting- still remains a top priority. Even when you don't put it there. And man oh man, have I not been putting it there. But hey, I am right now. Thats what matters. As you all know- I'm in the entertainment business- and updating photos- is something I have to do often. :p I had lots of photo shoots this past week. And it's great. But it's also exhausting. Because I know for myself, I am a huge critic. I like things to be perfect- when it comes to art- including in photos. But when you see your self in images- all different angles, every which way. You get a little sick of yourself. And for me. I get down. I look at all the things I call 'wrong' with me, by agency standards. Which isn't good. I know. This is a very hard business, I know this. I've been modeling since I was 11. I have a pretty strong back bone. I know the things people say to you about your natural born look can be hurtful. And I've experienced it all- and I'm sure there is much more to come. But the critic I am to myself is probably the worst of all.
Becoming a woman and owning it. Is very hard. Especially for me and my body type. I'm considered a healthy shape. But a tad overweight for modeling standards and just 'normal' size- which isn't a good thing- weirdly enough. I've been told I could become a very successful model- if I were to lose 20 pounds. Like I said- this business, aye ya ya. Got to have a back bone for the words they throw at you. When I first moved here from Georgia- I never even looked at myself in a negative way. I completely changed after living here and being around girls who were so concerned with what they ate. It was awful to be around. A few years ago- the way I ate was terrible. I knew what healthy food was- and I would over eat intentionally- only to start a new 'diet' the next day. I'm definitely over that phase of my life. I now understand what the point is of eating healthy and treating your body right and excercising. Has nothing to do with outer image.
I think if people focused more on this- then weight would come off easily and it wouldn't be so stressful- if you just focused on the fact you want to be healthy. To live longer. and feel better. All the other benefits will happen because of that. I know it's easier said than done- believe me.
Anyway- after having been 'busy' lately. I have felt rushed and anxious more than ever. And accidentally skipping meals- by being on a shoot for 5 hours. It's been very bad. skipping meals for me makes me go crazy! I eat 5 x in a day- and try not to go over 3-4 hours in between. But that has not been whats been happening :( So if this is going to be the way my life is. I have to play along- and figure out a plan. Cause I've had zero time for working out as well. This can't be the way it is! Balance is such a huge thing! And I've lost it.
I'm embarking on a new journey. And the plateau I've been on for a very long time- is going to be broken. I've remained the same- same habits for about 2 years now- and I'm not happy with staying the same- were supposed to evolve and get better- feel better. Learn. Grow. I want to do this. And I can. And so can you. So create an action plan for yourself. Put your goals at the top- and then write the ways of what you have to do to get there. and thennnnnn do them :) Slow and steady. no rush!
A couple of mine are:
-Run/walk 2 miles every morning.
-Get up in the morning! (yeah this will be a hard one for me)